YOU CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'



The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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SOME FUNNY FACTS

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


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To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.


The road to success??.. Is always under construction.



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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

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In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

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Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak..

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Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

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If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

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You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

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Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.



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As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.



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He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.



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If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late..

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Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.



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When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.



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If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.



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Especially for engg. Students----

If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.




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You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.


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The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.


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After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

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If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

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Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

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before and after marriage

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it..
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
JUST JOKING HA HA HA HA
ENJOY

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.

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